From the time a pregnant women notices the smell of coffee can make her stomach fight a civil war, she is bombarded with materials to “help” make decisions about her new baby. It can be helpful, and harassing. The information is confusing, and swayed by trends of the generation. And if the mass emails, junk snail mail, and daunting library of literature on the subject aren't enough, there are of course the anecdotes... I mean, expert advise... of dear ol' mom and dad.
Lately, pacifiers have been the subject of passionate discussion. It includes the mental effects, the germ issue, dental consequences, and logistical problems. Are pacifiers are worth dealing with for all the issues they create.
And there's no right answer. When my husband and I were approaching the time to wean our first son, we first decided to ask our pediatrician. “Whenever he seems ready,” he said. Helpful. Thanks. Then I turned to baby magazines. There were “handy dandy” tips. But it was confusing. My husband decided the dentist was the appropriate decision-maker. Of course, his fear of having to pay for braces later fueled that determination. He insisted the pacifier shouldn't have been used (he didn't have to live with my son). That's what daddy wanted to hear, so he declared independence: cold turkey. “Good luck with that” (laughter while exiting stage left.)
Why such a headache over a piece of silicone?!
Then the answer hit me while on the toilet. (With two small children it's a blessed day to have that time alone. What do you want from me!) The answer was using it as it was meant to be used: Comfort. The pacifier isn't a toy... it's a tool to teach baby to self-sooth! It isn't about using it in moderation, therefore changing the purpose to avoid problems. “Everything in moderation” is a scam. It allows for the negative to have control over decision making... if only in moderation. Let's embrace freedom by choosing to work toward the true goals of things and let go of the fear that dominates us, in motherhood, in careers, in life. It's simple: Identify goal. Make decision accordingly.
A pacifier is for self-comforting? So is a teddy bear. And a teether.
